I OWE YOU AN EXPLANATION, SHIRT-BLOG

But first, let me draw your attention to today's teefury design. It's a sumo wrestler fighting a monster truck. I enjoy.


Anyway, things have been pretty sparse around here lately. I used to update this place a lot, but this semester I'm in a blog-writing class, which has me updating two other blogs at three times a week, each, (a requirement I have still never met.) They even made me change my adventures-in-europe blog into a commenting-on-movie-news blog, the bastards. As soon as I get this grade, baby, I promise, I'll be back. Just give me time.

a quick one

no time for an actual post. just trust me, you should buy this. everyone should buy this.

trust me. there's only nineteen hours left.

ARE WE ALL STILL TALKING ABOUT MICHAEL JACKSON

or is it too late for me to show off one of threadless' tribute t-shirts in the wake of his timely demise? there are a few michael shirts out there lately but i would wear the shit out of this one, if only to feel that fucking cool.



oh, and he didn't rape those little boys, he was just a really odd guy who never had a childhood or any real friends.

self explanatory

i'd have ordered this shirt by now were it not $28

thats my third consecutive robocop shirt post. i'll try to stop with the movie shit for a little while.

SPECIAL MEGA 4-SHIRT SPECTACULAR

so i don't have any money, but my brother sent me a link to this website, minicassettetees.com, and it was basically a smorgasbord of unbelievable awesome. let's start things lightly.
Wow, I love the reference, the shirt itself is pretty cool but not enough for me to REALLY freak out about. everybody knows the great humongous is- wait, what? what's that shirt over there?

holy shit, i should probably buy this one, right? i would get so many comments on it going to class in film school it would just be so- wait, what? what's THAT shirt over THERE?

Oh my god, WHAT?! I'M ADDING THIS TO MY CART RIGHT NOW. I'M TYPING IN MY CREDIT CARD NUMBER. I'M ABOUT TO HIT 'CONFIRM' AND I- ...WAIT. WHAT!? WHAT'S THAT SHIRT OVER THERE?!

OH
MY
GOD
OH MY GOD
OH MY GOD
OH MY GOD

ROBOCOPPER

I'm buying this.

Today I woke up with like five text messages from different people telling me to look at today's woot shirt. My friends are the best.

KING ZING

Today's teefury design actually intrigues me. I don't know, something about that skull with a crown and moustache... it's mostly the moustache that grabs me, i think. Too bad I don't have any money and it'll be gone forever tomorrow. Somebody buy this shirt so I know it's out there somewhere, perhaps making it to a thrift store one day. We will meet again...

This is relevant to my interests.

there are some seriously bad-fuckin-ass shirts at junkfoodclothing.com, but their prices are pretty steep (it's like $32 for a t-shirt). i'm not rich and famous yet so for now i suppose i'll just have to dream.

POE IT

WHAT!? I have no money but I really want this shirt. And it disappears FOREVER in about seventeen hours thanks to it being sold by teefury today and today only on the front page.

NOBODY
UNDERSTANDS
MY
PAIN


kind of like edgar allan poe i suppose.

Machine Gun Tiger

A quick one because, hey, i got finals this week bitches. So I chose a shirt that wouldn't require an explanation of why it totally rocks.

Fucking awesome.
If you're interested, the machine gun tiger shirt can be purchased from topatoco here.

RRRRUUUMMMBBBLLLEEE

oh snap.

for some reason i am very into today's teefury design.

it's like shirtwoot, meaning you have about sixteen more hours to purchase this bad boy. unlike shirtwoot this doesnt have the reckoning, where popular shirts stay available until they become unpopular. so yeah. sixteen hours and this shirt's gone forever. i hope you bitches subscribe to me.

Abraham Lincoln was the BEST PRESIDENT EVER

Enclothe is a pretty sweet store I've just discovered. This shirt reflects an alternate reality that I kind of wish I lived in, in which Abraham Lincoln protected our country from a zombie invasion.


Oh, and it comes in asphalt color, too.


Headline taken from Chad Comello, who used it for a facebook group once.

NOSFERATU

I like Defunker. It's where I got my beloved explosion shirt (twice, after the first one fell apart.) Apparently they have been absorbed by bustedtees.com, but whatever. I'm rambling.

If I had any money right now I'd probably buy this new Defunker shirt that just came out, Nosferatu. It kind of looks like my friend Zog, but maybe that's because back when Zog still had the Albanian accent we used to make fun of him for talking like Dracula.

I'm rambling. Buy the vampire shirt, it's stylish and it has a vampire on it. You could probably romance some of the Twilight lovers with this one. Although this is, like, a legit vampire, not some totally lame tween vampire that doesn't even die in sunlight or have to be invited in or be killed by a stake through the heart or anything.

Man, fuck Twilight. Fuck that shit sideways.

I'm rambling.

It's Shark Week

I have just purchased this fine, fine shirt from PaperRoot Clothing. If I could be an animal - any animal - it would obviously be a rhinoceros. Because I would FUCK. SHIT. UP. But if I had to be an aquatic animal, I'd have to go with the shark. And wearing this shirt would probably make me feel like a shark.

DOMOKUN ANGRY SMASHFEST

DOMO DOMO DOMO DOMO SHIRT


Watch Domo-kun - 1-13 (Subtitled) | View More Free Videos Online at Veoh.com

BE A GHOST FROM PAC MAN

BE A GHOST FROM PAC MAN
BE A GHOST FROM PAC MAN
EVERY COLOR IS AVAILABLE

ALSO IN VULNERABLE MODE

Go here. Now.


An afterthought-

What you should really do, really, is buy two shirts - one of one of the ghosts, the other of the vulnerable mode - and wear the ghost shirt with the vulnerable shirt underneath it. Then, when you get into some kind of trouble and somebody's about to chase you (the school bully, your mother, the police) you quick take off the top layer so now you are wearing the vulnerable ghost shirt.

Then run like hell.

CHRISTIAN BALE AND I ARE DONE PROFESSIONALLY

If you don't get it, listen to this.

I honestly feel pretty bad for Christian Bale and don't think what he did was that big of a deal. Actors are just kind of like that. They're very emotional and he's still probably an alright guy. And he's a good actor.

But this shirt is just too god damn funny.

OMG

whoosh

It actually says "whoosh" in very very small letters in the lower right corner there. I love it.
Here, I'm just going to copy and paste the product description from mega64.com's store:

"YO HEY WHATS UP HOWS ITS GOING. HOWS IT LOOKIN FOR YA. THIS IS MARCUS AND I WANT TO TELL YOU THAT IF YOU HAVE LOW SELF ESTEEM AND WANT TO FEEL MORE ATTRACTIVE BUY MY SHIRT. IT HAS ME ON IT SO OBVIOUSLY ITS SUPER SEXY YOUR GIRLFRIEND WILL NOT BE ABLE TO HELP HER SELF WHEN YOU WEAR IT. SHE WILL BE ALL OVER YOU LIKE FRIED ON RICE. IF THAT DOESNT SELL YOU YOU MAY HAVE PROBLEMS THAT I CANT EVEN HELP YOU. I GIVE UP. LOOK EITHER BUY IT OR DONT I DONT REALLY CARE WHAT YOU DO I AM TRYING TO HELP YOU OUT. AND IF YOU CANT APPREACHEATE THAT THEN GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE STOP WASTING MY TIME. JERK.

OH YEAH AND THE SHIRT IS DARK GRAY WITH ME ON THE FRONT AND A SMALL MEGA64 LOGO UNDER THE BACK COLLAR SO TAKE IT OR LEAVE IT SON

COMES WITH A SECRET MYSTERY PRIZE"

available at mega64.com/store

I'm Still Rich

Available for a modest $2,695 (add $630 if you want it in black), the I'm Still Rich t-shirt is a very stylish way to let people know just who you are.

The Haymaker

Wearing this shirt is like wearing a checklist of manliness. It's also very informative in regard to what you should do in the face of a bear attack. I don't fear bears like i do whales, and this shirt does a fine job of explaining why.

destroyer

I've always been much more afraid of whales than, say, sharks. If this shirt doesn't explain why, I really don't know what to tell you. I have it and I've been wearing it as a warning to others for years now. A whale can kill you and not even give a shit. It doesn't care about your blood and will not be drawn into a frenzy for it. Your death is incidental.

Whales are godless killing machines.

SERIOUSLY

This is a shirt of a squid fighting a whale fighting a tyrannosaurus rex.

Available in three colors.


But it here.

THRILL ME

God, I want this shirt.

Night Of The Creeps. Tom Atkins.
Don't even ask.

APOCALYPSE

This is honest to god one of my favorite articles of clothing of all time. I've had this shirt for years now and I wear it all the time. It's beginning to wear out, though. So I'm buying another one. Right now.

I describe it as my shirt that goes "puooooogh" (that's me attempting to spell out the explosion sound effect I make.) I think it's absolutely perfect. Shirt. Explosion. Shirt with explosion on it. This is the Mona Lisa of t-shirts.

High Five

The High Five Shirt. Available from Raptor Bandit Industries, this attractive little number is one that I've yet to purchase myself because I just never seem to have the money when I'm in the mood. I'm torn about my love for it because it's so clearly meant to be funny (which is not what I like in a shirt) but at the same time it's just so awesome. Shark and Gorilla high five in front of an explosion. The "Nice." is almost too much, I think, and it kind of spells out the awesomeness for people, but it's kind of a funny addition. I guess.

I still want it so very badly.

HEY

i designed this shirt in my senior year of high school. i mocked it up in photoshop and made flyers that i posted around school with my mock-up and the message "I WILL GIVE YOU FIVE DOLLARS PLUS COST IF YOU MAKE ME A SHIRT THAT LOOKS LIKE THIS. THIS IS NOT A JOKE." when i was getting them approved for posting the woman at the desk looked at the flyers for ten seconds, then back at me, and said "i don't get it." i didn't really see what was not to get, and i informed her of this opinion. she replied by asking me "is it a joke?"

okay. right at the bottom. in big letters. this is not a joke. i informed her that i did not know how to screen-print shirts but knew some teachers and students did and this was my way of reaching them. she denied my request. however, the generous teachers in the art department allowed me to post them only in their classrooms. so i still got it made. medium. gray. just how i like it. i had to print out the stencils and stuff but all the grunt work of it was done for me.

my creative process here was just that i wanted a shirt that could start conversations for me and skip the greeting process. its pretty useful for that.

the teacher that made it actually kept the stencil and made a shitload of HEY shirts in various colors and sizes and sold them to students as fundraising for the school. i was so pissed. i got him to discontinue this and destroy the stencil but there are still a bunch of former madison memorial high school students with like yellow or red or lime-green HEY shirts. which was not my creative intent. i'd still probably sell this shirt if i had a bunch of them. but only in that shade of gray. and i would adjust the size of the text for each size, because that's perfect for MEDIUM but if you want a large there's just way too much empty space there.

alright. i'm done now.

"The Epic Begins"

i thought this'd be a fitting first shirt for the blog. it's still on sale over at shirtwoot and i think it's awesome. i wore it the other day and somebody asked me why i was wearing a shirt with turtles on it drinking poison. i told her that it's not poison, it's ooze. and it's mutating them. she thought for a second and then asked if they were becoming ninjas. indeed they are.

in the beginning

hey everybody whats going on. my name is alex and i simply love shirts. shirts are the best. i don't love clothes or fashion or anything like that, just t-shirts that have awesome things on them. not necessarily funny things, because most shirts that try to be funny get old after five minutes of wearing them in public, if they were at all funny to begin with. a shirt with an explosion on it or something.

i spend a lot of time looking at shirt.woot.com, threadless, stuff like that. the best shirts i've ever found though are ones at garage sales or goodwill. i frequent those places too. i'm always on the lookout for an awesome t-shirt from anywhere. i have a lot of free time and i'm a pretty ridiculous person.

anyway i started this blog just to share my almost disgusting love for shirts with the world. i'll post about awesome shirts here and provide links if theyre for sale so that you fine people can be in on the fun, too. if it's a garage sale find or something though i'll just have to share a photo while you admire it in awe, as you would a fine work of art or a sweet gun battle in a movie.

i also occasionally design shirts and if i do any new ones i'll definitely post them.